he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
