it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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