You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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