The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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