So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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