We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
