Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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