Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
