he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
