Do vagina's smell?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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