another moral hangover. fuck.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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