One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The beer is more important than you right now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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