the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize