the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
