Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
