I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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