I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
