can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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