make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Never underestimate the power of titties
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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