I hate your face
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
