Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
