Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
