ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
