hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
