Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
