The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize