Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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