You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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