ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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