What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
