matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
too bad you live with your parents still
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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