ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
