I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
