coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
