I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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