AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
