2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize