8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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