I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
