She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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