i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
