Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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