your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
