his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Vodka?
Forever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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