There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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