i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
