The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
