dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
