Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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