he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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