y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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