Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
