I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
