My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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