Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
