i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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