woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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