Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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