His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
