Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
