I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't you send me to vm
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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