So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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