Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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