The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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