if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
