A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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