i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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