we're blogging at a bar
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
