That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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